24 on the outside 70 on the inside

So

For years i have been having pains in my ankles (weak ankles they said), my wrists (tendonitis they said) and my knee and ankle of late (tendonitis they said). Finally it is being actually looked into after almost 4 years.

It turns out belive it or not that i may have Rheumotiod Arthritis.

But you're 24 i hear you say.

Turns out it can affect you at ANY AGE!

A typical day for me, involves waking up in agony and not being able to move. I have to hold onto the walls, shelves, bed what ever is near me, and limp over to the kitchen for 2 ibuprofen, a co-drydomol and a drink to wash it all down. Then after hobbling about for 20mins i may get some senstation back in my legs and be able to stand up. Next i have to do my hair, where my wrists ache and the pain spreads up to my shoulders, but i have no choice. Makeup on most days is a no no!

Half the way through a uni day, the pains are back. My wrists i cant blame too much from all the writing i do, but now ive been sat down for 2 hours, so back to limping around in pain until the feeling goes away.

Imagine not even being able to sit and relax without your whole body tensing up, swelling up and refusing to move?

Im due back at the Rhuemetolgist soon, and the appointment can not come any sooner. Even now as im typing this blog, i have to have breaks in between to massage my arms. Im dreading trying to stand up.

On top of Arthritis i have a condition i cant even pronounce so luckily someone shortened it for me and it goes by the name of Hughes Syndrome. It basically is sticky blood and means i suffer from blood clots. This is most likely where my arthritis has come from. 4 times theyve tested my blood this year and it always comes back as positive so hopefully in January when im back again, they can give me medication that actually does something.

At 24 you dont want to have to explain to your friends that you cant go out dancing, or go to the trampoline park, because you have arthritis. I have to miss university, work and meeting friends some days because its just that bad that i cant bare the pain of trying to move any more.

Bandages are like a second skin to me half the time, and my fiance has joked about getting me a walking stick, although lately its been that bad that this may be a serious thing i have to do.

Do you suffer from Rheumetoid Arthritis or APS (Hughes Syndrome)? Know someone who does? Any tips or advice would be so helpful to me right now.

Amelia Dyer

Just a little something i did in class. A poem about my chosen biography subject: the baby farmer Amelia Elizabeth Dyer! 

A woman should love

A woman should care

A woman who doesnt? 

Who would dare! 

Amelia Dyer

Evil on her face 

Taking in babies 

Killing them with lace 

Times were hard

And mothers were desperate

And by her kind adverts

You wouldnt have guessed it 

A young servant woman 

Had birthed a daughter 

She wanted her adopted 

Not dumped in the water 

She thought shed be safer 

And away from harm 

But an evil woman 

Ran this baby farm

A little something i did earlier

sooooo this is something i wrote in my biography seminar and i though i would share it with you. The task was

: Write about a familiar environment using the senses as freshly and intensley as Woolf does. Write from the point of view of a creature with heightened senses if it helps. 

The light outside the front door turns on. I can see it breifly under the door. I wait, ears perked, nose in the air. It isnt mummy. She smells sweet and exotic, of coconut and vanilla. This is a man. Heavy footsteps, not as light even as daddy. I jump back on the bed, nuzzling into her side of the sheets she left unspread in a rush. I can still taste the lipstick i licked off her face. I miss her so much. I rest my head in a sulk. 

Walking into the kitchen, last nights pots on the side, mm spices. I feel hungry but my bowl has a gap now. Im too nervous to eat. Wheres mummy? 

A car speeds outside. I dig my paws into the soft carpet as i jump, back arched, ears high. Who is that? I wish mummy was here. I drop myself fown on my side. I'll just wait here until she gets home.

A typical Manchester day

Ok sooooo its raining .... yay .... suprised ... me neither.

Having just moved to a new home in Whitefeild, Bury i now have to get up even earlier, and leave even earlier, to get to university on time. Today was my first day and what a disaster.

The "First Bus" app is a pile of poo for starters. First it said the bus was due at 7:44am so i left my nice warm flat at half 7, and walked in the rain, got to the bus stop at 7:40 and no bus. It showed up at o'clock. So i was stood shivering in the rain, heavy uni bag on my back, rain pouring down too hard for me to even have a cig. overall fun!!

Still had a chance of making it ontime if it werent for the huuuuuge traffic on Bury New Road ... at least i was dry i guess right?! I got into town at around 9:45. Still soaked, still raining, still shivering, heavy uni bag still on my back.

Waited what felt like a life time for the bus. A 67 and a 100 had both passed going the 3 stops into shudehill so youd think it wouldnt be a long wait .... but this is manchester. 10:15 the 67 shows up! The 100 was due at 9:50 so i would love to know where the fuck that bus ended up. Anyway so i get on the bus, soaked, and it is now 10:20 by time i arrive at university.... only 20mins late ... 30 by time i actually get to my lesson, so ive not gone. I sat in libary instead. In a sulk aha

Just love manchester me

Dreams of becoming a teacher

soooo i wanna be a teacher.

Its something i have wanted to do since i was a little girl. I have worked hard, i got 6 GCSEs and 3 A-Levels, i am on an english and creative writing graduate degree in my final year, but it isnt enough!

First i heard of a thing called Teach First who offered on the job training and experience working towards getting a PGCE qualification. I dont fit their criteria as i only ended up with 180 UCAS points and they need you to have 300.

Next i did a google search and looked on loads of other ways of getting into teaching. The train while being paid ones want you to have 3 years work experience .... how do you get this if schools need you to pass requirements for that as well, and while studying a degree and working to pay bills? secondly they offered a training way in which is unpaid and with a fee. Requirements i also dont have for that, and funding i would need which as i have been at university for 4 years, i am not entitled to.

Soooo what am i supposed to do now. Requirements are:

• 300 UCAS points 
• Grade C english gcse
• Grade C maths gcse
• Grade C science gcse (for teaching early years) 
• a 2:1 degree or equivelent
• and in some cases 3 years experience in schools

okkkay so i have:

• 180 UCAS points
• Grade B in English GCSE
• Grade D in maths GCSE
• Grade C in science GCSE
• working at a 2:1 degree level (graduate next year)
• experience in catering, bar work and waitressing, modelling and promotions and not in schools
• an extra 4 GCSEs and 3 A levels which are apparently irellevant 

guess i can maybe do an apprentership .... except £3.30ph is not really going to pay the bills (im on min wage £6.70ph and that just about does). Or i could try and get my maths GCSE ( i should note that this is something i have redone already twice at college each time i got the EXACT same mark 4 points off a C so er yeah oh and it costs £250-399 to do this independantly atm)

Fuck it .... i shall just be a writer and will not pass my wisdom on to the world via a classroom, but instead through the words of my novels.

I cant be the only one in this position right? help a sister out!!! 

First group submission

Today i had to submit my first bit of work to my Final Portfolio module at uni. It was nerve wracking! 

It turned out not so bad in the end as most people said they either couldnt wait to find out what happens, or that they would definately buy my book, which was a real confiedence booster. 

Im not too good with focus group work. I dont mind submitting for feedback, but when its a room full of people who are all looking at you and verballing giving feedback, its a different ball game. 

I shouldnt have a problem with people watching me, i used to model, but when it comes to writing ive worked hard on, its nerve wracking to have it torn apart. 

Maybe its because i dont know my peers. I should do. They all know each other, but i had a year out of uni meaning really i should have graduated in 2013 with my friend keisha and class mates i at least knew names of, instead i resat a year on top of the break, and now i know no one. 

Part of me thinks this works better, leas distractions in classes, but with 3 hour breaks between lectures and seminars, sometimes a friend would be nice. 

Victorian Crime

Okay soooo

I am currently working on a biography on Amelia Dyer. She was a baby farmer in the victorian times and it is estimated she killed over 400 babies in her time before she was hung at Newgate prison in 1896. 

I have been researching her since her name came up in one of my Women Behaving Badly lectures about 2 weeks ago. As horrific her crime was, it strunk an interest, especially when i could only find one biography about her. As i need to do a biography (3000 words of one at least) for another module, i settled on her. 

Over 2000 words of research and still more to find, it is only today on week 4 that it all began to feel a little too real. 

I discovered that upon her final arrest for the discovery of the body of little Helena Fry aged just 15 months, a list of so far 10 children who at the time were in her care. 

I already knew the names of not only Helena Fry, but also Harry Simmons and Doris Marmon. I also knew that when Helenas body was found, and the river Thames dregged for more. That more bodies including those two were also found. 

I now know that out the 10 children in her care by March 1896, 4 of them survived, with 2 being rehomed and 2 being returned to their mothers. 

For some reason now having full names of the children and ages, has made it feel even more real and upsetting and i found myself tearing up, imagining being the mother of one of those returned children, or even worse, one of those whos child was never returned. 

I will post my extract on Amelia Dyer if you are interested (its over 1000 words so far and due in january for submission). 

I cant help but wonder what happened to the children named who survived.

House Of Trend, Manchester

With the latest in house music blaring and pool table greeting you as you walk in, you may think you have walked into a swanky new bar. Shiny black flooring and fancy gold decor, lit up brilliantly by the many lights, a wall mural of a city landscape. All high quality work done. This is not a bar. This is House of Trend!

Only the finest in apperance because that is how you will step out. Take a seat on the black leather seats and enjoy a game of pool, even treat yourself to a drink from the bar which is stocked with everything from soft drinks and beers, to the option of a hot drink or fresh home made smoothies and shakes. Whatever you need while you wait, its catered for at house of trend manchester!

The staff are friendly and the banter is top class as you let Ben or Kenny get to work on giving you the look you want. From shape ups, trims, fades or a whole new restyle, just say what you need sit back and let them get to work. Taking pride in their jobs, these perfectionists will ensure that you are 100% satisfied.


If its not a haircut you're after, house of trend offers more than your average barber shop. Why not indulge in a massage? Or treat the missus to something from the impressive range of body treatments? With everything from Therapeutic massages, botox and teeth whitening, you'll even soon have the option to book in a tattoo in this every growing business.

Heard enough? Why not pop in and upgrade your experience.

Barber Ben hard at work

Barber Kenny working hard

Swanky Bar full of refreshments

Have a game of pool

A life of an urban princess

So this is my blog ....

I am a final year student studying English Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Salford. Engaged, parent to a cat and a part time waitress in a cafe shop, undercover princess by title.

This blog will no doubt be full or random ramblings, stuff i am working on as a budding writer, and sharing of my addictions and obsessions.

For my final year at salford i have chosen the following options to complete my degree;
Women behaving badly: Representations of Deviance in the 19th Century
Biography: innovative and tradition
Poetry: New departures
Womens writing in the 21st Century

So if you have any interest in these areas, then you may enjoy reading things im working on. Please feel free to comment your feedback on any of the work i do share, and please do not steal anything (most of it will be submitted as actual work and it would be unfair to get done for plagirism of my own work).

Aside from university i live with my Fiance of 2 years and our crazy cat skittle (yes im a cat person, expect lots of pictures). I am addicted to social networking like facebook, instagram and have just got my head around snapchat (finally). My fiance is called Benji and he is a full time barber, he works way too much (mon-sat 8-8) which means i dont get to see him much (boo!) but he loves his job and can be found at House of Trend Manchester, on Rochdale road and on instagram (@Houseoftrendmcr). I currently work in a secret location (sorry stalkers) as a waitress which i enjoy because my team are mostly the best ladies i could work with/for. When i am not in uni or work i am a SLOB! No im just kidding i dont have that much free time so i mainly watch tv (Bones, Big Bang Theory and Scream Queens are FAVES! and Game of Thrones of course when it hurries back) and write my own stuff from biography, poetry to fiction.

Comments always welcome :)

Bye for now

Princess Candi